“Hey, do you wanna do this?”
“Use each other for sex at all hours of the day, nothing else!”
These are the words of Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher from the movie ‘No Strings Attached’. But to think of it, this conversation could’ve taken place between any girl and boy who are attracted to each other but “not ready to commit” to each other.
Ashton and Natalie are only a reflection of the pop culture of today.
Today, the ‘friends with benefits’ concept is famously rooted in our popular culture. Even Bollywood movies like “Befikre” feature such relationships without moralizing over them, in keeping with the post-modern tradition.
The 21st century is characterized by its fast-paced life.
Ambition is the key word for the youth of today, not romance. They lack the mental space and time that romance requires and demands, and this in a way gives rise to increasing preference given to a no strings attached relationship.
The individual is so caught up with himself and his surroundings that the presence of another person, their emotions, and their surroundings become unbearably cumbersome after a point. But the concept of “No Strings attached relationships” of the current generation is as utopian as its predecessor, the “transcendental love” of the older generations. Why?
Because, let’s be real here: There always tends to be few strings, don’t you feel so? Also, how logical is it to have sex with somebody and still opt out of any emotional bonding? And, what if one of the partners ends up developing an attachment to the other partner? Pleasure without emotional burdens is certainly desired by some individuals today, but for the most part, it is impossible to accomplish.
Emotions creep in before you know it, as in the movies, and people end up falling in love. But during one of our conversations, one of my friends felt that there is nothing irrational about indulging in a friends-with-benefits relationship, as long as both parties are clear about it” and rightly so.
When we come to think about it, sex is a bodily need and it’s not necessary that there should be emotions to ensure its fun. If one of the partners ends up developing feelings for the other, it’s time to take a call — whether to stay or leave — and this happens often. “Best thing to do is to be open about it and have a conversation about it. If you don’t expect emotional support from that person, tell them that. If you think you can take this forward, tell them that. If you are sure you cannot have that emotional connect and companionship, it’s better to leave. The best part is that you’re not being judged.
All said and done, the arrangement of ‘friends with benefits’ works only if the ‘friend’ part stays at play. If you change the dynamics of it into being a real relationship, then it might not seem so sexy anymore. Time has changed the outlook towards love and relationships, and people adopt various methods to explore and exploit their proclivity, but the fascination with ‘the one’ right person will be relentless. It’s just human nature.