Being an introvert is never easy but guess what’s more difficult – being an introvert whose forced to socialize or an introvert who values public opinion. In other words a kind of a closeted introvert.
There are some difficulties that this unlucky bunch face – they’ll be pushed into the midst of an excited crowd while all they want will be to curl in some corner with a book and a cup of coffee. By the time a party is over these people would feel like they’ve run a marathon. Seriously, it is tiring to socialize. You try finding consolation in the ambiance, in your observations of human behavior, or some daydream. But the moment you try to fall silent, someone would comment “ she/he seems to be very silent” while it’s a very normal observation, your parents take it as something like “ your daughter/son is stuck up”. Immediately they launch into damage control and you’re left to shower people with meaningless conversation and smiles, not to mention the long awkward pauses and the totally fake “something important on my smartphone’’ glances. You breathe a sigh of relief when some extrovert friend swoops in to save the conversation, giving you space to escape.
Even worst is another phenomenon. You’ve absolutely no problem staying aloof, but people assume that you feel alone, so they come to you with sympathetic eyes and wants to “include “ you. The situation becomes even more awkward if they’re not that close to you. You are left to accept their ‘generosity” because you don’t want to be rude. Both parties don’t want to engage in it but they do it out of obligation (what obligation, you ask ? – it”s called society). They tend not to understand that there is a difference between loneliness and solitude.
Things are a little easier for full-on introverts since people tend to at least acknowledge it as normal behavior albeit with a fair share of stereotypes, but not so for the closeted ones. People often associate their lack of interest in social interaction with everything from depression to disrespect. They don’t understand that it’s difficult to initiate a conversation and be a social butterfly with strangers. To all those closeted introverts out there, salute to your spirit, but maybe it is time to come out. Being something you’re not is putting more stress on yourself and you do want to escape the tiring conversations, don’t you?