Ever had a bad time, when things start screwing up automatically? When you don’t even have to make an effort to make it any worse. And perhaps, sometime later, you find yourself sulking at your fate, thinking why God does this to you all the time!. Days later you realize you are in the same mood, fouling everyone else’s around you. Maybe, it’s time we rethink our approach to life. Maybe, it’s time we stop screwing ourselves and start doing things differently, give our heart a break.
There is no said rule to live a happy life, but this piece of writing might just help you get the better of life.
1) Stop playing a victim: Somewhere in the heart of hearts, you know what you are doing is harmful to you. You just don’t want to help yourself!. Maybe, because it is easier to stay stuck up, hoping for people to pick us up when you know they won’t, than to pick yourselves up and get your ass back to where they should be. Stop playing victim! It is ok to cry over spilt milk, but not ok to expect someone else to clean it for you.
2) Practise Yoga and other self control techniques: Legend has it, that Yoga has helped monks attain salvation, people attain tranquility. Yoga is a proven technique to get yourself out of mess. In other words, Yoga can help heal, what the medicine can’t. Believe me, as I know, that It won’t be an easy start, as you might not feel the results in the very beginning. But, it will surely pay off, if you don’t give up.
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3) Don’t let people decide your state of mind: Remember, anger, sadness, grief, etc. is a state of mind, not your reality. We cannot control how others behave with us, whether they are good to us, or spew venom at us. But it is only our reaction, that gives meaning and purpose to their actions. Remember, strong people don’t belittle other, they lift them up. So if someone makes you feel bad about yourself, realize how narrow their perspective to life is.
Picture Courtesy: The wise geek
4) Let your anger bring out the best in you: We often let our anger wear us out, than channelizing it for a better purpose. You feel immensely during that frame of time, and thereafter. You just choose to vent it out by hurling abuses, throwing away things, crying. But, do you realise, it only does harm to you and your loved ones? It catapults you far from your primary aim, whatever that maybe for you. It is normal to feel worthless, worn out, and meaningless, during those phases of life. But don’t stay there for too long. Use the energy in your anger to be productive. Try art, sports, or any hobby that you can pursue during those initial moments. You don’t have to be good at it. Just do it, and this way, you will be able to avert what is best avoided.
5) Forgive, forget, and let go: Forgiving people has a lot to do with us, and little to do with others. Forgive them, because you get rid of the baggage that you carry along with the resentment. By staying angry with someone, you are keeping the pain alive in your memories. When you hold grudges against someone, you are weighed down by the toxicity that such feelings bring along. There will be times when people won’t realize their mistake, when they don’t need your apology. Forgive them, because you need it.
6) Practise Gratitude: The easiest way to do this, is by getting to know through personal interactions, or close encounters, about the less fortunate people in this world. This way, you will stop blaming god for making your life hell, and start being thankful for the little that you have. You will reach out to more people who need you in life, start to value real relations, based on the true spirit of exchanging affections.
7) Focus on your career: Regret is the worst feeling. It is after you have unknowingly killed you time behind things that give you no return. Remember this, and you will be saved from the endless miseries of life: Focus on your career, because it is going to stay with you for the larger part of your life. If you fail, it means you have tried, and have nothing to regret. If not, you will lead a life, full of resentment, toxicity, and low self esteem. So choose to spend your time wisely.
8) Think twice, before you react: Visualise what will be the consequences, once that you have said something hurtful. Words are powerful, and can make or break relations. Once that you have said something unpleasant, it is going to stay in people’s minds forever. He, who can conquer his mind, can conquer the world. So next time, if you have the urge to say something like that, take a pause, and think over it, or leave the place for a while. You will eventually realise it was not necessary for you to take that baggage for a fit of rage.
Do the above, and you will feel you have control over most parts of your life. Life’s a memory, so make the best ones, while avoiding a few bad moments, that can change the entire course of life. Happy Healing!
Also, Read “A Pursuit, that is Happiness“